Endless Wonder - Uliya Yashtala

by Uliya Yashtala

As an artist, I often think about what could be or could have been...

What if I was taught to be open and free with my love?

What if I was taught that vulnerability is a virtue?

What if I inherited mostly ancestral happiness and came from a long line of people in loving relationships?

What if everyone had taught me that holding onto to unearned status related to racism*, casteism**, classism***, patriarchy...was wrong?

The truth is that, growing up in the Indian diaspora, around mixtures of English, Gujarati, Kannada, Marathi, Hindi...there were many values that did not vibe with me. For one thing, fear was put in me as a child for behaving naturally but while outside gender and cultural norms****.

So now, I transform that fear every day.

I live my life differently. It took me a long time to recognize that I did not have to reproduce what came before me — that I could go a different way. I'm still learning this every day; it's a daily practice.

And making songs is one way I practice these new values that I've carved out for myself, ones that were not necessarily instilled in me. Making songs helps me to affirm my inherent value and clear out that old fear to usher in something new.

How many ways can we practice a new way of living?

I'll leave you with a lyric from my song, Endless Wonder:

"The seeds we plant will grow to be a field of flowers, sanctuary — a forest filled with love and endless wonder."

Uliya's influenced by heavy rain; colors like cobalt blue; their healing journey; artistic comrades; the South Asian diaspora; the inevitability of change; and their queerness and gender fluidity. They create from their digital home, monsoon dreaming. They hope you keep in touch by visiting ww.uliya.xyz and subscribing to their newsletter.